“Jugs? Who Needs Jugs When We Have Bags?”

There’s a lot of things different up here (or over here, depending on where you are).  It’s the little things that most of us take for granted that Kelly and I had to figure out.  The most mundane, and probably most embarrassing, is the milk.

You see, milk doesn’t come in gallon milk jugs, it comes in little plastic bags.  This proved to be a problem for us twice.  First, it makes it difficult to find the milk in the grocery store when it’s not what you’re looking for.  Milk jugs are usually stacked high on the shelves with all labels and expiration dates neatly printed for you.  Not here.  They’re stacked down below in bags.

Second, how do you get milk out of a plastic bag? Very carefully….or, as it turns out, correctly.  These bags have no spouts or handles.  Which meant, I had to put the bag inside a pitcher, and slice it open with a knife.

It didn’t go well.

After having gone through about 5 bags of milk (and losing about 2 bags to the counter and floor, and subsequently the dog), we finally realized that there is a right way to do it.

Thinking back on the funny milk pitchers we saw in the store, we probably shouldn’t have laughed at how useless they were being so small and so skinny.  As it turns out, there’s a reason they were shaped that way.  Apparently, the pitcher is shaped ever-so-perfectly to fit a bag of milk.  Not the milk in the bag, but the milk in the bag in the pitcher.  They also sell these handy-dandy bag slicers which lop off the top corner of the bag o’ milk, creating a spout.

Whoodathunkit?

Sure enough, the bag fits in perfectly, and with the corner nipped, the milk poured without a dribble.  The dog lost her urge to visit the kitchen every time the milk bags came out, and ended up having to beg for solid food, but she’ll survive.

So to spare those who may be Canada-bound from the despair that is trying to figure out how to get milk out of the bag, here are some instructions.

1. Look down
   The bags of milk are probably right below your nose, not up on the shelves.
2. Buy that funny-looking pitcher
   Turns out they actually have a purpose.
3. Buy the funny-looking bag cutter
   You’ll know it when you see it.
4. Place milk bag in pitcher
   Please note I omitted the “pay for your items” step.  Don’t forget that part.
5. Cut the top corner furthest from the handle
   Not the one on top of the handle.  You’ll just pour milk on yourself.  Don’t laugh.  We did it.  Edit:  Twice!
6. Pour
   Self-explainatory.
7. Rinse and Repeat
   It’s not a very big bag, so you’ll find yourself doing this a lot.

This should give you a glimpse into the adventure that is our new lives in Canada.  If milk gave us these kind of problems, imagine our adventures trying to import our car, get health coverage, find a house etc.  Stay tuned.